First Month of the Year

 I always believe the first month of the year kind of set the flow and mood for the remaining eleven months therefore I make sure to carefully say and do things which brings peace and positive vibe to me and people around me. As the second month starts I couldn't help reflecting on how the first month of the year went by. And what could be the best way to reflect than to write on the happenings of the first month.

The year started with a bang in professional field and I have never been so busy and preoccupied with academic work, which of course denied me of holidays but intellectually provided me a chance to explore and to learn something very new. I have spent endless waking hours with researching and reading literature related to the work I was assigned with. There were times when I was tempted to give up but stubborn part of me wasn't  willing to give in to the temptation, which had me reading countless literature making me more confused with each reading. Nevertheless, I was very much satisfied with the end result with me learning and widening my horizon in terms of intellectual areas beyond my comfort zone and forte. Looking back on the quantity and quality of academic work I have done in the first month, I am cent per cent sure that professionally this year I am yet to learn and grow as a person. I live by the philosophy: 'Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.' Learning never stops and every single day I learn with great enthusiasm. I might stand as a proud and happy person professionally but I am not so happy for my inability to devote time to my parents and family members. While others went to spend time with their respective families, I was struggling to make sense out of complicated literature readings. I used to have days and nights all to myself and once it strike me that I haven't spoken to anyone and uttered a word apart from self-directed speech. It was scary to reach to that realization that I had been living like a sole person who have cut all contacts with people in the world. The moment I realized that I called my mommy dearest and spoke with her. Now when I reflect on those days, I never forget to thank Almighty for keeping me safe and sound. Yet, I shudder with fear for living isolated and lone life. I ain't extrovert but more like an introvert type. I would prefer alone time than to socialize with people. I party with my books than with people. Most of the nights I would be reading with either a bottle of beer or wine (selecting the liquor based on my mood). Living alone made me a strong person with an acceptance of being happy in my own company.



Readers tend to lead a lonely life as if you happen to be a reader then you have to  choose the company of books over humans. My target for this year is to read 70 books and I have finished 15 books in the first month. I had been reading as if my life depends on it. The main reason for putting so much efforts in reading was that I will be in sync and won't dare to break the flow of reading. Half of my monthly salary goes to purchasing books and if I am left without unread books on my bookshelf then I panic therefore I land up buying books as an emergency stock. The only thing I would leave behind after my death would be those most cherished and treasured books. The books on my bookshelf aren't just books those are my babies. And my babies are the only thing which will break my heart to depart with. Every morning I stand in front of my bookshelf for few minutes to admire the collections of the books.  I spend my free time in cleaning and decorating of bookshelf. Apart from reading I had been encouraging others to make a habit of reading by letting them lend them book, of course with a warning to take good care of my baby. I always try to convince people to read at which I fail so miserably. Nevertheless, I shall not cease to encourage people to read.



It has been almost 7 years since I started my life as a working woman and for the first time in 7 years I am right back to square one. I am living in an empty space of my house with no furniture. I am yet to buy furniture for my house. Though it is a thing of pride to give away old furniture to my siblings, it feels so incomplete to walk into a empty house. I will start all over again with baby-steps. I won't mind not to own any furniture but the scary thing is at times my empty house looks like haunted house. The experience of spending a month in an empty house taught me how to find happiness in nothingness. Not owning things can be blissful and instill non-attachment feelings towards everything in this physical world. Now, the task and focus of the year is to ensure to purchase necessary and required furniture for the house, if only I could spare some amount after spending on books.




For forthcoming eleven months I wish to be busy with my work, to read countless books, and be happy with what I have. The first month has been one of the kind. And I had been truly blessed with such a wonderful life.