More Than a Number: The Beauty of Turning 39

As I approach my 39th year, standing just a step away from the significant milestone of 40, I find myself immersed in reflection. This journey through life’s third decade has been one of transformation, growth, and an ever-deepening appreciation for the present moment. Each passing year brings with it lessons of patience, acceptance, and the quiet strength of knowing when to hold on and when to let go. And as I take stock of the people and experiences that have shaped me, my heart swells with gratitude for the love, companionship, and support surrounding me.

Over the years, I have noticed a remarkable transformation within myself. My once neurotic tendencies have softened, and I have become more patient, more composed. I lose my temper far less frequently now, and while this shift feels like growth, it also leaves me wondering. Should I be grateful for my increasing ability to tolerate people, events, and circumstances; or should I question whether I am simply becoming more tamed and subdued?

Perhaps it’s a bit of both. There’s a quiet strength in learning when to engage and when to let go. In this space of acceptance, I have found a deeper sense of peace, not from giving up my passion or my voice, but from understanding that not every battle needs to be fought, and not every storm requires my reaction. As I stand at the threshold of 40, I embrace this evolution, knowing that the balance between patience and authenticity is one of life’s greatest lessons.

A huge part of this journey has been the love and companionship of my three-year-old cat, Precious. She has taught me so much about unconditional love, respecting boundaries, and the art of not giving a darn about others' opinions. In her graceful independence and unapologetic presence, she reminds me daily of the importance of finding peace within oneself. The joy I experience from pampering her, from the soft purrs to her playful antics, fills my heart in ways words can barely express. She truly means the world to me, and her presence has been a soothing balm through life’s ups and downs. For that, I am deeply grateful; thank you, my sweet Precious, for being my little beacon of love and serenity.

Equally important in my life is my incredible 11-year-old, Zamin. The happiness and comfort she brings into my world are beyond measure. Despite her young age, Zamin has a remarkable sense of independence; taking charge of cooking, cleaning, and managing her responsibilities with a maturity well beyond her years. She is an emotionally strong and grounded girl, always aware of the world around her and in tune with its happenings.

One of my most cherished memories is when Zamin composed a heartwarming and imaginative story about Precious’ life and her love story with Sisi, the male cat who passed away last year. Sisi fathered Precious’ kittens, though heartbreakingly, they didn’t survive after their delivery. In her story, Zamin wove a tale of love, loss, and resilience, capturing the spirit of these beloved pets with such depth and tenderness. Her ability to express emotions through storytelling showed me just how connected and empathetic she truly is.

Zamin’s emotional intelligence and creativity never cease to amaze me. She’s not only observant and thoughtful but also determined to strive and succeed in life. Whether it’s her curiosity, her ambition, or her unwavering support, she inspires me every day. I am endlessly grateful for the love, joy, and strength she brings into our home; my wise, independent, and compassionate Zamin.

Another profound source of love and support in my life has been the incredible friendships I share with Sapna, Tashi, and Madam KC. Female friendships hold a special kind of magic, especially in the life of a single, middle-aged woman. They fill spaces that romance sometimes can’t, offering comfort, laughter, and understanding in the most beautiful and unexpected ways.

Sapna, my soul sister, gets me in every possible way. The countless, often senseless reels we exchange at odd hours bring humor and sanity to this insane world. There’s an ease and honesty in our bond, a connection so deep that words aren’t always necessary. Through Sapna, I am lovingly reminded of the huge hole left in our lives by our late friend, Dorji. Her absence is a pain we both carry, but in our friendship, her spirit remains alive; woven into our laughter, our tears, and our shared memories. Our bond is special because it keeps Dorji eternally with us, and I will always cherish that.

Tashi brings a beautiful kind of innocence into my life; a freshness that reminds me of my own youthful twenties, but with a chance to relive them in the right way. Seeing her journey inspires me to guide her, to help her avoid the mistakes I made in my younger years. Her presence is a reminder that growth can be gentle, and the past doesn’t have to dictate the future.

And then there’s Madam KC; a woman I admire deeply. She reminds me that age is just a number and seniority is, frankly, just a bunch of nonsense. Her free-spirited approach to life, her confidence, and her ability to live on her own terms inspire me to embrace my own freedom with the same grace and fearlessness. I have nothing but love and earnest admiration for her example.

These incredible women took the trouble to buy me a cute cake and arrange a grand dinner for my birthday; a gesture that touched me deeply. Their love, effort, and presence made my day truly special, filling my heart with warmth and gratitude. I am so thankful for their friendship, their support, and the unique roles they play in my life. They remind me, every day, of the strength and beauty of sisterhood; and for that, I am endlessly blessed.

I am also immensely grateful for my dearest friends Pemey and Dema Yangzom, my constants in this ever-changing world. Despite living two days away from me, Pemey never fails to check on me and remind me that I am not alone. She showers me with thoughtful gifts and books, and even though she has a family of her own that takes most of her time, she always makes space for my endless rants. Her love and care transcend distance, offering me comfort and connection no matter how far apart we are.

Dema Yangzom, with her incredible patience, always puts up with my temper tantrums and treats me with the kind of love only true friends can give. She spoils me like a child, sending gifts, sweets, and beautiful bouquets via taxi; gestures that always make me feel seen and cherished. Her unwavering support and affection ground me, reminding me of the beauty of having friends who love you even at your most vulnerable.

To Pemey and Dema Yangzom; thank you for always putting up with me, for your kindness, patience, and unconditional love. Your presence in my life brings me peace and joy, and I am endlessly grateful for you both.

Lastly, I want to express my deepest gratitude to my parents for giving me such a wonderful life. Their love, sacrifices, and guidance have shaped me into the person I am today. I am eternally thankful for their unwavering support and the strong foundation they have provided me. To my siblings; thank you for your never-ending support, wisdom, and encouragement. Your presence in my life has been a source of strength and guidance, and I am so grateful for the bond we share. And to my beloved nieces and nephew; your love, laughter, and innocence bring immense joy to my life. You remind me of the beauty of simple moments and the importance of family. Thank you for the light and love you bring into my world.

As I close this reflection, my heart feels full; brimming with love, gratitude, and a sense of peace. The people and relationships that fill my life make every challenge more bearable and every joy more profound. With the wisdom of the past and hope for the future, I step forward into the final year of my thirties, knowing that I am deeply loved and endlessly blessed.